The kettle began it! Don't tell me what Mrs. Peerybingle
said. I know better. Mrs. Peerybingle may
leave it on record to the end of time that she couldn't
say which of them began it; but I say the kettle did. I ought
to know, I hope? The kettle began it, full five minutes by the
little waxy-faced Dutch clock in the corner, before the Cricket
uttered a chirp.
As if the clock hadn't finished striking, and the convulsive
little Hay-maker at the top of it, jerking away right and left
with a scythe in front of a Moorish Palace, hadn't mowed down
half an acre of imaginary grass before the Cricket joined in
at all!
Why, I am not naturally positive. Every one knows that I
wouldn't set my own opinion against the opinion of Mrs. Peerybingle,
unless I were quite sure, on any account whatever.
Nothing should induce me. But, this is a question of fact.
And the fact is, that the kettle began it at least five minutes
before the Cricket gave any sign of being in existence. Contradict
me, and I'll say ten.
Let me narrate exactly how it happened. I should have
proceeded to do so, in my very first word, but for this plain consideration--if
I am to tell a story I must begin at the beginning;
and how is it possible to begin at the beginning without beginning
at the kettle?
It appeared as if there were a sort of match, or trial of skill,
you must understand, between the kettle and the Cricket. And
this is what led to it, and how it came about.
Mrs. Peerybingle, going out into the raw twilight, and clicking
over the wet stones in a pair of pattens that worked innumerable
rough impressions of the first proposition in Euclid
all about the yard--Mrs. Peerybingle filled the kettle at the
water-butt. Presently returning, less the pattens (and a good
deal less, for they were tall, and Mrs. Peerybingle was but
short), she set the kettle on the fire. In doing which she lost
her temper, or mislaid it for an instant; for, the water being
uncomfortably cold, and in that slippy, slushy, sleety sort of state
wherein it seems to penetrate through every kind of substance,
patten rings included--had laid hold of Mrs. Peerybingle's
toes, and even splashed her legs. And when we rather plume
ourselves (with reason too) upon our legs, and keep ourselves
particularly neat in point of stockings, we find this, for the
moment, hard to bear.
Besides, the kettle was aggravating and obstinate. It
wouldn't allow itself to be adjusted on the top bar; it wouldn't
hear of accommodating itself kindly to the knobs of coal; it
would lean forward with a drunken air, and dribble, a very
Idiot of a kettle, on the hearth. It was quarrelsome, and hissed
and spluttered morosely at the fire. To sum up all, the lid,
resisting Mrs. Peerybingle's fingers, first of all turned topsy-turvy,
and then, with an ingenious pertinacity deserving of a
better cause, dived sideways in--down to the very bottom of
the kettle. And the hull of the Royal George has never made
half the monstrous resistance to coming out of the water which
the lid of that kettle employed against Mrs. Peerybingle before
she got it up again.
It looked sullen and pig-headed enough, even then; carrying
its handle with an air of defiance, and cocking its spout pertly
and mockingly at Mrs. Peerybingle, as if it said, "I won't boil.
Nothing shall induce me!"
But, Mrs. Peerybingle, with restored good-humour, dusted
her chubby little hands against each other, and sat down
before the kettle laughing. Meantime, the jolly blaze uprose
and fell, flashing and gleaming on the little Hay-maker at the top
of the Dutch clock, until one might have thought he stood stock-still
before the Moorish Palace, and nothing was in motion
but the flame.
He was on the move, however; and had his spasms, two to
the second, all right and regular. But his sufferings when the
clock was going to strike were frightful to behold; and when a
Cuckoo looked out of a trap-door in the Palace, and gave note
six times, it shook him, each time, like a spectral voice--or
like a something wiry plucking at his legs.
It was not until a violent commotion and a whirring noise
among the weights and ropes below him had quite subsided
that this terrified Hay-maker became himself again. Nor was
he startled without reason; for these rattling, bony skeletons
of clocks are very disconcerting in their operation, and I
wonder very much how any set of men, but most of all how
Dutchmen, can have had a liking to invent them. There
is a popular belief that Dutchmen love broad cases and much
clothing for their own lower selves; and they might know
better than to leave their clocks so very lank and unprotected,
surely.
Now it was, you observe, that the kettle began to spend the
evening. Now it was that the kettle, growing mellow and musical,
began to have irrepressible gurglings in its throat, and to
indulge in short vocal snorts, which it checked in the bud, as
if it hadn't quite made up its mind yet to be good company.
Now it was that after two or three such vain attempts to stifle
its convivial sentiments, it threw off all moroseness, all reserve,
and burst into a stream of song so cosy and hilarious as never
maudlin nightingale yet formed the least idea of.
So plain, too! Bless you, you might have understood it like
a book--better than some books you and I could name, perhaps.
With its warm breath gushing forth in a light cloud
which merrily and gracefully ascended a few feet, then hung
about the chimney-corner as its own domestic Heaven, it trolled
its song with that strong energy of cheerfulness, that its iron
body hummed and stirred upon the fire; and the lid itself, the
recently rebellious lid--such is the influence of a bright example--performed
a sort of jig, and clattered like a deaf and
dumb young cymbal that had never known the use of its twin
brother.
That this song of the kettle's was a song of invitation and
welcome to somebody out of doors: to somebody at that moment
coming on towards the snug small home and the crisp fire:
there is no doubt whatever. Mrs. Peerybingle knew it perfectly,
as she sat musing before the hearth. It's a dark night,
sang the kettle, and the rotten leaves are lying by the way; and,
above, all is mist and darkness, and, below, all is mire and clay;
and there's only one relief in all the sad and murky air; and I
don't know that it is one, for it's nothing but a glare; of deep
and angry crimson, where the sun and wind together; set a
brand upon the clouds for being guilty of such weather; and the
widest open country is a long dull streak of black; and there's
hoar frost on the finger-post, and thaw upon the track; and the
ice it isn't water, and the water isn't free; and you couldn't say
that anything is what it ought to be; but he's coming, coming,
coming!--
And here, if you like, the Cricket DID chime in! with a
Chirrup, Chirrup, Chirrup of such magnitude, by way of chorus;
with a voice so astoundingly disproportionate to its size, as compared
with the kettle; (size! you couldn't see it!) that, if it had
then and there burst itself like an overcharged gun, if it had
fallen a victim on the spot, and chirruped its little body into
fifty pieces, it would have seemed a natural and inevitable consequence,
for which it had expressly laboured.
The kettle had had the last of its solo performance. It
persevered with undiminished ardour; but the Cricket took
first fiddle, and kept it. Good Heaven, how it chirped! Its
shrill, sharp, piercing voice resounded through the house, and
seemed to twinkle in the outer darkness like a star. There was
an indescribable little trill and tremble in it at its loudest, which
suggested its being carried off its legs, and made to leap
again, by its own intense enthusiasm. Yet they went very
well together, the Cricket and the kettle. The burden of the
song was still the same; and louder, louder, louder still, they
sang it in their emulation.
The fair little listener--for fair she was, and young; though
something of what is called the dumpling shape; but I don't
myself object to that--lighted a candle, glanced at the Hay-maker
on the top of the clock, who was getting in a pretty average
crop of minutes; and looked out of the window, where she saw
nothing, owing to the darkness, but her own face imaged in the
glass. And my opinion is (and so would yours have been) that
she might have looked a long way and seen nothing half so
agreeable. When she came back, and sat down in her former
seat, the Cricket and the kettle were still keeping it up, with a
perfect fury of competition. The kettle's weak side clearly
being that he didn't know when he was beat.
There was all the excitement of a race about it. Chirp,
chirp, chirp! Cricket a mile ahead. Hum, hum, hum--m--m!
Kettle making play in the distance, like a great top. Chirp,
chirp, chirp! Cricket round the corner. Hum, hum, hum--m--m!
Kettle sticking to him in his own way; no idea of giving
in. Chirp, chirp, chirp! Cricket fresher than ever. Hum,
hum, hum--m--m! Kettle slow and steady. Chirp, chirp,
chirp! Cricket going in to finish him. Hum, hum, hum--m--m!
Kettle not to be finished. Until at last they got so
jumbled together, in the hurry-skurry, helter-skelter, of the
match, that whether the kettle chirped and the Cricket hummed,
or the Cricket chirped and the kettle hummed, or they both
chirped and both hummed, it would have taken a clearer head
than yours or mine to have decided with anything like certainty.
But of this there is no doubt: that, the kettle and the Cricket, at
one and the same moment, and by some power of amalgamation
best known to themselves, sent, each, his fireside song of comfort
streaming into a ray of the candle that shone out through
the window, and a long way down the lane. And this light,
bursting on a certain person who, on the instant, approached
towards it through the gloom, expressed the whole thing to him,
literally in a twinkling, and cried, "Welcome home, old fellow!
Welcome home, my boy!"
This end attained, the kettle, being dead beat, boiled over,
and was taken off the fire. Mrs. Peerybingle then went
running to the door, where, what with the wheels of a cart,
the tramp of a horse, the voice of a man, the tearing in and
out of an excited dog, and the surprising and mysterious
appearance of a baby, there was soon the very What's-his-name
to play.
Where the baby came from, or how Mrs. Peerybingle got
hold of it in that flash of time, I don't know. But a live baby
there was in Mrs. Peerybingle's arms; and a pretty tolerable
amount of pride she seemed to have in it, when she was drawn
gently to the fire, by a sturdy figure of a man, much taller and
much older than herself, who had to stoop a long way down to
kiss her. But she was worth the trouble. Six foot six, with
the lumbago, might have done it.
"Oh goodness, John!" said Mrs. P. "What a state you're
in with the weather!"
"A dot and"--here he glanced at the baby--"a
dot and carry--I won't say it, for fear I should spoil it; but I was very near a joke.
He was something the worse for it undeniably. The thick
mist hung in clots upon his eyelashes like candied thaw; and,
between the fog and fire together, there were rainbows in his
very whiskers.
"Why, you see, Dot," John made answer slowly, as he unrolled
a shawl from about his throat, and warmed his hands;
"it--it an't exactly summer weather. So no wonder."
"I wish you wouldn't call me Dot, John. I don't like it,"
said Mrs. Peerybingle: pouting in a way that clearly showed she
did like it very much.
"Why, what else are you?" returned John, looking down
upon her with a smile, and giving her waist as light a squeeze
as his huge hand and arm could give. "A dot and"--here he
glanced at the baby--"a dot and carry--I won't say it, for
fear I should spoil it; but I was very near a joke. I don't know
as ever I was nearer."
He was often near to something or other very clever, by his
own account: this lumbering, slow, honest John; this John so
heavy, but so light of spirit; so rough upon the surface, but so
gentle at the core; so dull without, so quick within; so stolid,
but so good! Oh, Mother Nature, give thy children the true
poetry of heart that hid itself in this poor Carrier's breast--he
was but a Carrier, by the way--and we can bear to have them
talking prose, and leading lives of prose; and bear to bless thee
for their company!
It was pleasant to see Dot, with her little figure and her
baby in her arms: a very doll of a baby: glancing with a coquettish
thoughtfulness at the fire, and inclining her delicate little head
just enough on one side to let it rest in an odd, half-natural,
half-affected, wholly nestling and agreeable manner, on the
great rugged figure of the Carrier. It was pleasant to see him,
with his tender awkwardness, endeavouring to adapt his rude
support to her slight need, and make his burly middle age a
leaning-staff not inappropriate to her blooming youth. It was
pleasant to observe how Tilly Slowboy, waiting in the background
for the baby, took special cognizance (though in her
earliest teens) of this grouping; and stood with her mouth and
eyes wide open, and her head thrust forward, taking it in as if
it were air. Nor was it less agreeable to observe how John the
Carrier, reference being made by Dot to the aforesaid baby,
checked his hand when on the point of touching the infant, as if
he thought he might crack it; and, bending down, surveyed it
from a safe distance, with a kind of puzzled pride, such as an
amiable mastiff might be supposed to show if he found himself,
one day, the father of a young canary.
"An't he beautiful, John? Don't he look precious in his
sleep?"
"Very precious," said John. "Very much so. He generally
is asleep, an't he?"
"Lor, John! Good gracious, no!"
"Oh!" said John, pondering. "I thought his eyes was
generally shut. Halloa!"
"Goodness, John, how you startle one!"
"It an't right for him to turn 'em up in that way," said the
astonished Carrier, "is it? See how he's winking with both
of 'em at once! and look at his mouth! Why, he's gasping like
a gold and silver fish!"
"You don't deserve to be a father, you don't," said Dot,
with all the dignity of an experienced matron. "But how
should you know what little complaints children are troubled
with, John? You wouldn't so much as know their names, you
stupid fellow." And when she had turned the baby over on
her left arm, and had slapped its back as a restorative, she
pinched her husband's ear, laughing.
"No," said John, pulling off his outer coat. "It's very true,
Dot. I don't know much about it. I only know that I've
been fighting pretty stiffly with the wind to-night. It's been
blowing north-east, straight into the cart, the whole way home."
"Poor old man, so it has!" cried Mrs. Peerybingle, instantly
becoming very active. "Here, take the precious darling, Tilly,
while I make myself of some use. Bless it, I could smother it
with kissing it, I could! Hie then, good dog! Hie, Boxer, boy!
Only let me make the tea first, John; and then I'll help you
with the parcels, like a busy bee. 'How doth the little'--and
all the rest of it, you know, John. Did you ever learn 'How
doth the little,' when you went to school, John?"
"Not to quite know it," John returned. "I was very near
it once. But I should only have spoilt it, I dare say."
"Ha, ha!" laughed Dot. She had the blithest little laugh
you ever heard. "What a dear old darling of a dunce you are,
John, to be sure!"
Not at all disputing this position, John went out to see that
the boy with the lantern, which had been dancing to and fro
before the door and window, like a Will of the Wisp, took due
care of the horse; who was fatter than you would quite believe,
if I gave you his measure, and so old that his birthday was lost
in the mists of antiquity. Boxer, feeling that his attentions
were due to the family in general, and must be impartially distributed,
dashed in and out with bewildering inconstancy; now
describing a circle of short barks round the horse, where he was
being rubbed down at the stable door; now feigning to make
savage rushes at his mistress, and facetiously bringing himself
to sudden stops; now eliciting a shriek from Tilly Slowboy, in
the low nursing-chair near the fire, by the unexpected application
of his moist nose to her countenance; now exhibiting an
obtrusive interest in the baby; now going round and round upon
the hearth, and lying down as if he had established himself for
the night; now getting up again, and taking that nothing of a
fag-end of a tail of his out into the weather, as if he had just
remembered an appointment, and was off at a round trot, to
keep it.
"There! There's the teapot, ready on the hob!" said Dot;
as briskly busy as a child at play at keeping house. "And there's
the cold knuckle of ham; and there's the butter; and there's the
crusty loaf, and all! Here's a clothes basket for the small
parcels, John, if you've got any there. Where are you, John?
Don't let the dear child fall under the grate, Tilly, whatever you
do!"
It may be noted of Miss Slowboy, in spite of her rejecting
the caution with some vivacity, that she had a rare and surprising
talent for getting this baby into difficulties: and had several
times imperilled its short life in a quiet way peculiarly her own.
She was of a spare and straight shape, this young lady, insomuch
that her garments appeared to be in constant danger of
sliding off those sharp pegs, her shoulders, on which they were
loosely hung. Her costume was remarkable for the partial
development, on all possible occasions, of some flannel vestment
of a singular structure; also for affording glimpses, in the
region of the back, of a corset, or a pair of stays, in colour a dead
green. Being always in a state of gaping admiration at everything,
and absorbed, besides, in the perpetual contemplation of
her mistress's perfections and the baby's, Miss Slowboy, in her
little errors of judgment, may be said to have done equal honour
to her head and to her heart; and though these did less honour
to the baby's head, which they were the occasional means of
bringing into contact with deal doors, dressers, stair-rails, bed-posts,
and other foreign substances, still they were the honest
results of Tilly Slowboy's constant astonishment at finding herself
so kindly treated, and installed in such a comfortable home.
For the maternal and paternal Slowboy were alike unknown
to Fame, and Tilly had been bred by public charity, a foundling;
which word, though only differing from fondling by one vowel's
length, is very different in meaning, and expresses quite another
thing.
To have seen little Mrs. Peerybingle come back with her
husband, tugging at the clothes basket, and making the most
strenuous exertions to do nothing at all (for he carried it), would
have amused you almost as much as it amused him. It may
have entertained the Cricket, too, for anything I know; but,
certainly, it now began to chirp again vehemently.
,p>Tilly Slowboy.
"Heyday!" said John in his slow way. "It's merrier than
ever to-night, I think."
"And it's sure to bring us good fortune, John! It always
has done so. To have a Cricket on the Hearth is the luckiest
thing in all the world!"
John looked at her as if he had very nearly got the thought
into his head that she was his Cricket in chief, and he quite
agreed with her. But it was probably one of his narrow escapes,
for he said nothing.
"The first time I heard its cheerful little note, John, was on
that night when you brought me home--when you brought
me to my new home here; its little mistress. Nearly a year
ago. You recollect, John?"
Oh, yes! John remembered. I should think so!
"Its chirp was such a welcome to me! It seemed so full of
promise and encouragement. It seemed to say, you would be
kind and gentle with me, and would not expect (I had a fear of
that, John, then) to find an old head on the shoulders of your
foolish little wife."
John thoughtfully patted one of the shoulders, and then the
head, as though he would have said No, no; he had had no such
expectation; he had been quite content to take them as they were.
And really he had reason. They were very comely.
"It spoke the truth, John, when it seemed to say so: for you
have ever been, I am sure, the best, the most considerate, the
most affectionate of husbands to me. This has been a happy
home, John; and I love the Cricket for its sake!"
"Why, so do I, then," said the Carrier. "So do I, Dot."
"I love it for the many times I have heard it, and the many
thoughts its harmless music has given me. Sometimes, in the
twilight, when I have felt a little solitary and down-hearted,
John--before baby was here, to keep me company and make
the house gay--when I have thought how lonely you would be
if I should die; how lonely I should be, if I could know that you
had lost me, dear; its Chirp, Chirp, Chirp upon the hearth has
seemed to tell me of another little voice, so sweet, so very dear
to me, before whose coming sound my trouble vanished like a
dream. And when I used to fear--I did fear once, John; I
was very young, you know--that ours might prove to be an
ill-assorted marriage, I being such a child, and you more like
my guardian than my husband; and that you might not, however
hard you tried, be able to learn to love me, as you hoped
and prayed you might; its Chirp, Chirp, Chirp has cheered me
up again, and filled me with new trust and confidence. I was
thinking of these things to-night, dear, when I sat expecting
you; and I love the Cricket for their sake!"
"And so do I," repeated John. "But, Dot! I hope and
pray that I might learn to love you? How you talk! I had
learnt that long before I brought you here, to be the Cricket's
little mistress, Dot!"
She laid her hand, an instant, on his arm, and looked up at
him with an agitated face, as if she would have told him something.
Next moment, she was down upon her knees before the
basket; speaking in a sprightly voice, and busy with the parcels.
"There are not many of them to-night, John, but I saw some
goods behind the cart just now; and though they give more
trouble, perhaps, still they pay as well; so we have no reason to
grumble, have we? Besides, you have been delivering, I dare
say, as you came along?"
"Oh, yes!" John said. "A good many."
"Why, what's this round box? Heart alive, John, it's a
wedding-cake!"
"Leave a woman alone to find out that," said John admiringly.
"Now, a man would never have thought of it!
Whereas, it's my belief that if you was to pack a wedding-cake
up in a tea-chest, or a turn-up bedstead, or a pickled-salmon
keg, or any unlikely thing, a woman would be sure to find it out
directly. Yes; I called for it at the pastrycook's."
"And it weighs I don't know what--whole hundredweights!"
cried Dot, making a great demonstration of trying
to lift it. "Whose is it, John? Where is it going?"
"Read the writing on the other side," said John.
"Why, John! My Goodness, John!"
"Ah! who'd have thought it?" John returned.
"You never mean to say," pursued Dot, sitting on the floor
and shaking her head at him, "that it's Gruff and Tackleton the
toymaker!"
John nodded.
Mrs. Peerybingle nodded also, fifty times at least. Not in
assent--in dumb and pitying amazement; screwing up her
lips, the while, with all their little force (they were never made
for screwing up; I am clear of that), and looking the good Carrier
through and through, in her abstraction. Miss Slowboy, in the
meantime, who had a mechanical power of reproducing scraps
of current conversation for the delectation of the baby, with all
the sense struck out of them, and all the nouns changed into
the plural number, inquired aloud of that young creature, Was
it Gruffs and Tackletons the toymakers then, and Would it call
at Pastrycooks for wedding-cakes, and Did its mothers know
the boxes when its fathers brought them home; and so on.
"And that is really to come about!" said Dot. "Why, she
and I were girls at school together, John."
He might have been thinking of her, or nearly thinking of
her, perhaps, as she was in that same school-time. He looked
upon her with a thoughtful pleasure, but he made no answer.
"And he's as old! As unlike her!--Why, how many
years older than you is Gruff and Tackleton, John?"
"How many more cups of tea shall I drink to-night, at one
sitting, than Gruff and Tackleton ever took in four, I wonder?"
replied John good-humouredly, as he drew a chair to the round
table, and began at the cold ham. "As to eating, I eat but
little; but that little I enjoy, Dot."
Even this, his usual sentiment at meal-times, one of his
innocent delusions (for his appetite was always obstinate, and
flatly contradicted him), awoke no smile in the face of his little
wife, who stood among the parcels, pushing the cake-box slowly
from her with her foot, and never once looked, though her eyes
were cast down too, upon the dainty shoe she generally was so
mindful of. Absorbed in thought, she stood there, heedless
alike of the tea and John (although he called to her and rapped
the table with his knife to startle her), until he rose and touched
her on the arm; when she looked at him for a moment, and
hurried to her place behind the tea-board, laughing at her
negligence. But not as she had laughed before. The manner
and the music were quite changed.
The Cricket, too, had stopped. Somehow, the room was
not so cheerful as it had been. Nothing like it.
"So, these are all the parcels, are they, John?" she said,
breaking a long silence, which the honest Carrier had devoted
to the practical illustration of one part of his favourite sentiment--certainly
enjoying what he ate, if it couldn't be admitted that
he ate but little. "So these are all the parcels, are they, John?"
"That's all," said John. "Why--no--I"--laying down his
knife and fork, and taking a long breath--"I declare--I've
clean forgotten the old gentleman!"
"The old gentleman?"
"In the cart," said John. "He was asleep among the straw,
the last time I saw him. I've very nearly remembered him,
twice, since I came in; but he went out of my head again.
Halloa! Yahip there! Rouse up! That's my hearty!"
John said these latter words outside the door, whither he had
hurried with the candle in his hand.
Miss Slowboy, conscious of some mysterious reference to
The Old Gentleman, and connecting, in her mystified imagination,
certain associations of a religious nature with the phrase,
was so disturbed, that hastily rising from the low chair by the
fire to seek protection near the skirt of her mistress, and coming
into contact, as she crossed the doorway, with an ancient Stranger,
she instinctively made a charge or butt at him with the only
offensive instrument within her reach. This instrument happening
to be the baby, great commotion and alarm ensued,
which the sagacity of Boxer rather tended to increase; for that
good dog, more thoughtful than his master, had, it seemed, been
watching the old gentleman in his sleep, lest he should walk off
with a few young poplar-trees that were tied up behind the cart;
and he still attended on him very closely, worrying his gaiters,
in fact, and making dead sets at the buttons.
"You're such an undeniably good sleeper, sir," said John,
when tranquillity was restored (in the meantime the old gentleman
had stood, bareheaded and motionless, in the centre of the
room), "that I have half a mind to ask you where the other six
are--only that would be a joke, and I know I should spoil it.
Very near, though," murmured the Carrier with a chuckle;
"very near!"
The Stranger, who had long white hair, good features,
singularly bold and well defined for an old man, and dark, bright,
penetrating eyes, looked round with a smile, and saluted the
Carrier's wife by gravely inclining his head.
His garb was very quaint and odd--a long, long way behind
the time. Its hue was brown, all over. In his hand he held a
great brown club or walking-stick; and, striking this upon the
floor, it fell asunder, and became a chair. On which he sat
down quite composedly.
"There!" said the Carrier, turning to his wife. "That's
the way I found him, sitting by the roadside! Upright as a
milestone. And almost as deaf."
"Sitting in the open air, John?"
"In the open air," replied the Carrier, "just at dusk. 'Carriage
Paid,' he said; and gave me eighteen-pence. Then he
got in. And there he is."
"He's going, John, I think!"
Not at all. He was only going to speak.
"If you please, I was to be left till called for," said the
Stranger mildly. "Don't mind me."
With that he took a pair of spectacles from one of his large
pockets, and a book from another, and leisurely began to read.
Making no more of Boxer than if he had been a house lamb!
The Carrier and his wife exchanged a look of perplexity.
The Stranger raised his head; and, glancing from the latter to
the former, said:
"Your daughter, my good friend?"
"Wife," returned John.
"Niece?" said the Stranger.
"Wife!" roared John.
"Indeed?" observed the Stranger. "Surely? Very young!"
He quietly turned over, and resumed his reading. But,
before he could have read two lines, he again interrupted himself
to say:
"Baby yours?"
John gave him a gigantic nod: equivalent to an answer in
the affirmative, delivered through a speaking trumpet.
"Girl?"
"Bo-o-oy!" roared John.
"Also very young, eh?"
Mrs. Peerybingle instantly struck in. "Two months and
three da-ays. Vaccinated just six weeks ago-o! Took very
fine-ly! Considered, by the doctor, a remarkably beautiful
chi-ild! Equal to the general run of children at five months o-ld!
Takes notice in a way quite wonder-ful! May seem impossible
to you, but feels his legs al-ready!"
"That's the way I found him, sitting by the roadside!
Upright as a milestone."
Here, the breathless little mother, who had been shrieking
these short sentences into the old man's ear, until her pretty
face was crimsoned, held up the Baby before him as a stubborn
and triumphant fact; while Tilly Slowboy, with a melodious
cry of "Ketcher, Ketcher"--which sounded like some unknown
words, adapted to a popular Sneeze--performed some cow-like
gambols around that all unconscious Innocent.
"Hark! He's called for, sure enough," said John. "There's
somebody at the door. Open it, Tilly."
Before she could reach it, however, it was opened from without;
being a primitive sort of door, with a latch that any one could
lift if he chose--and a good many people did choose, for all
kinds of neighbours liked to have a cheerful word or two with
the Carrier, though he was no great talker himself. Being
opened, it gave admission to a little, meagre, thoughtful, dingy-faced
man, who seemed to have made himself a great-coat from
the sackcloth covering of some old box; for, when he turned to
shut the door and keep the weather out, he disclosed upon the
back of that garment the inscription G & T in large black capitals.
Also the word GLASS in bold characters.
"Good evening, John!" said the little man. "Good evening,
mum! Good evening, Tilly! Good evening, Unbeknown!
How's Baby, mum? Boxer's pretty well I hope?"
"All thriving, Caleb," replied Dot. "I am sure you need
only look at the dear child, for one, to know that."
"And I'm sure I need only look at you for another," said
Caleb.
He didn't look at her, though; he had a wandering and
thoughtful eye, which seemed to be always projecting itself
into some other time and place, no matter what he said; a description
which will equally apply to his voice.
"Or at John for another," said Caleb. "Or at Tilly, as
far as that goes. Or certainly at Boxer."
"Busy just now, Caleb?" asked the Carrier.
"Why, pretty well, John," he returned, with the distraught
air of a man who was casting about for the Philosopher's stone,
at least. "Pretty much so. There's rather a run on Noah's
Arks at present. I could have wished to improve on the Family,
but I don't see how it's to be done at the price. It would be
a satisfaction to one's mind to make it clearer which was Shems
and Hams, and which was Wives. Flies an't on that scale,
neither, as compared with elephants, you know! Ah, well!
Have you got anything in the parcel line for me, John?"
The Carrier put his hand into a pocket of the coat he had
taken off; and brought out, carefully preserved in moss and
paper, a tiny flower-pot.
"There it is!" he said, adjusting it with great care. "Not
so much as a leaf damaged. Full of buds!"
Caleb's dull eye brightened as he took it, and thanked him.
"Dear, Caleb," said the Carrier. "Very dear at this season."
"Never mind that. It would be cheap to me, what ever it
cost," returned the little man. "Anything else, John?"
"A small box," replied the Carrier. "Here you are!"
"'For Caleb Plummer,'" said the little man, spelling out
the direction. "'With Cash.' With Cash, John? I don't
think it's for me."
"With Care," returned the Carrier, looking over his shoulder.
"Where do you make out cash?"
"Oh! To be sure!" said Caleb. "It's all right. With
care! Yes, yes; that's mine. It might have been with cash,
indeed, if my dear Boy in the Golden South Americas had lived,
John. You loved him like a son; didn't you? You needn't say
you did. I know, of course. 'Caleb Plummer. With care.'
Yes, yes, it's all right. It's a box of dolls' eyes for my daughters'
work. I wish it was her own sight in a box, John."
"I wish it was, or could be!" cried the Carrier.
"Thankee," said the little man. "You speak very hearty.
To think that she should never see the Dolls--and them a
staring at her, so bold, all day long! That's where it cuts.
What's the damage, John?"
"I'll damage you," said John, "if you inquire. Dot! Very
near?"
"Well! it's like you to say so," observed the little man. "It's
your kind way. Let me see. I think that's all."
"I think not," said the Carrier. "Try again."
"Something for our Governor, eh?" said Caleb after pondering
a little while. "To be sure. That's what I came for; but
my head's so running on them Arks and things! He hasn't
been here, has he?"
"Not he," returned the Carrier. "He's too busy, courting."
"He's coming round, though," said Caleb; "for he told me
to keep on the near side of the road going home, and it was ten
to one he'd take me up. I had better go, by-the-bye.--You
couldn't have the goodness to let me pinch Boxer's tail, mum,
for half a moment, could you?"
"Why, Caleb, what a question!"
"Oh, never mind, mum!" said the little man. "He mightn't
like it, perhaps. There's a small order just come in for barking
dogs; and I should wish to go as close to Natur' as I could
for sixpence. That's all. Never mind, mum."
It happened opportunely that Boxer, without receiving the
proposed stimulus, began to bark with great zeal. But, as this
implied the approach of some new visitor, Caleb, postponing his
study from the life to a more convenient season, shouldered the
round box, and took a hurried leave. He might have spared
himself the trouble, for he met the visitor upon the threshold.
"Oh! You are here, are you? Wait a bit. I'll take you
home. John Peerybingle, my service to you. More of my
service to your pretty wife. Handsomer every day! Better
too, if possible! And younger," mused the speaker in a low
voice, "that's the devil of it!"
"I should be astonished at your paying compliments, Mr.
Tackleton," said Dot, not with the best grace in the world,
"but for your condition."
"You know all about it, then?"
"I have got myself to believe it somehow," said Dot.
"After a hard struggle, I suppose?"
"Very."
Tackleton the Toy merchant, pretty generally known as
Gruff and Tackleton--for that was the firm, though Gruff had
been bought out long ago; only leaving his name, and, as some
said, his nature, according to its Dictionary meaning, in the
business--Tackleton the Toy merchant was a man whose
vocation had been quite misunderstood by his Parents and
Guardians. If they had made him a Money Lender, or a sharp
Attorney, or a Sheriff's Officer, or a Broker, he might have sown
his discontented oats in his youth, and, after having had the
full run of himself in ill-natured transactions, might have turned
out amiable, at last, for the sake of a little freshness and novelty.
But, cramped and chafing in the peaceable pursuit of toymaking,
he was a domestic Ogre, who had been living on children all his
life, and was their implacable enemy. He despised all toys;
wouldn't have bought one for the world; delighted, in his malice,
to insinuate grim expressions into the faces of brown-paper
farmers who drove pigs to market, bellmen who advertised lost
lawyers' consciences, movable old ladies who darned stockings
or carved pies; and other like samples of his stock-in-trade.
In appalling masks; hideous, hairy, red-eyed Jacks in Boxes;
Vampire Kites; demoniacal Tumblers who wouldn't lie down,
and were perpetually flying forward, to stare infants out of
countenance; his soul perfectly revelled. They were his only
relief, and safety-valve. He was great in such inventions.
Anything suggestive of a Pony nightmare was delicious to him.
He had even lost money (and he took to that toy very kindly)
by getting up Goblin slides for magic lanterns, whereon the
Powers of Darkness were depicted as a sort of supernatural
shell-fish, with human faces. In intensifying the portraiture
of Giants, he had sunk quite a little capital; and, though no
painter himself, he could indicate, for the instruction of his
artists, with a piece of chalk, a certain furtive leer for the countenances
of those monsters, which was safe to destroy the peace of
mind of any young gentleman between the ages of six and eleven,
for the whole Christmas or Midsummer Vacation.
What he was in toys, he was (as most men are) in other
things. You may easily suppose, therefore, that within the
great green cape, which reached down to the calves of his legs,
there was buttoned up to the chin an uncommonly pleasant
fellow; and that he was about as choice a spirit, and as agreeable
a companion, as ever stood in a pair of bull-headed-looking
boots with mahogany-coloured tops.
Still, Tackleton, the toy merchant, was going to be married.
In spite of all this, he was going to be married. And to a young
wife too, a beautiful young wife.
He didn't look much like a Bridegroom, as he stood in the
Carrier's kitchen, with a twist in his dry face, and a screw in
his body, and his hat jerked over the bridge of his nose, and his
hands tucked down into the bottoms of his pockets, and his
whole sarcastic, ill-conditioned self peering out of one little
corner of one little eye, like the concentrated essence of any
number of ravens. But a Bridegroom he designed to be.
"In three days' time. Next Thursday. The last day of
the first month in the year. That's my wedding-day," said
Tackleton.
Did I mention that he had always one eye wide open, and
one eye nearly shut; and that the one eye nearly shut was always
the expressive eye? I don't think I did.
"That's my wedding-day!" said Tackleton, rattling his
money.
"Why, it's our wedding-day too," exclaimed the Carrier.
"Ha, ha!" laughed Tackleton. "Odd! You're just such
another couple. Just!"
The indignation of Dot at this presumptuous assertion is not
to be described. What next? His imagination would compass
the possibility of just such another Baby, perhaps. The man
was mad.
"I say! A word with you," murmured Tackleton, nudging
the Carrier with his elbow, and taking him a little apart.
"You'll come to the wedding? We're in the same boat, you
know."
"How in the same boat?" inquired the Carrier.
"A little disparity, you know," said Tackleton with another
nudge. "Come and spend an evening with us beforehand."
"Why?" demanded John, astonished at this pressing hospitality.
"Why?" returned the other. "That's a new way of receiving
an invitation. Why, for pleasure--sociability, you know,
and all that."
"I thought you were never sociable," said John in his plain
way.
"Tchah! It's of no use to be anything but free with you,
I see," said Tackleton. "Why, then, the truth is, you have a--what
tea-drinking people call a sort of a comfortable appearance
together, you and your wife. We know better, you know,
but----"
"No, we don't know better," interposed John. "What are
you talking about?"
"Well! We don't know better, then," said Tackleton.
"We'll agree that we don't. As you like; what does it matter?
I was going to say, as you have that sort of appearance, your
company will produce a favourable effect on Mrs. Tackleton
that will be. And, though I don't think your good lady's very
friendly to me in this matter, still she can't help herself from
falling into my views, for there's a compactness and cosiness of
appearance about her that always tells, even in an indifferent
case. You'll say you'll come?"
"We have arranged to keep our Wedding-day (as far as
that goes) at home," said John. "We have made the promise
to ourselves these six months. We think, you see, that home--"
"Bah! what's home?" cried Tackleton. "Four walls and a
ceiling! (Why don't you kill that Cricket? I would! I
always do. I hate their noise.) There are four walls and a
ceiling at my house. Come to me!"
"You kill your Crickets, eh?" said John.
"Scrunch 'em, sir," returned the other, setting his heel
heavily on the floor. "You'll say you'll come? It's as much
your interest as mine, you know, that the women should persuade
each other that they're quiet and contented, and couldn't
be better off. I know their way. Whatever one woman says,
another woman is determined to clinch always. There's that
spirit of emulation among 'em, sir, that if your wife says to my
wife, 'I'm the happiest woman in the world, and mine's the best
husband in the world, and I dote on him,' my wife will say the
same to yours, or more, and half believe it."
"Do you mean to say she don't, then?" asked the Carrier.
"Don't!" cried Tackleton with a short, sharp laugh. "Don't
what?"
The Carrier had some faint idea of adding, "dote upon you."
But, happening to meet the half-closed eye, as it twinkled upon
him over the turned-up collar of the cape, which was within
an ace of poking it out, he felt it such an unlikely part and
parcel of anything to be doted on, that he substituted, "that she
don't believe it?"
"Ah, you dog! You're joking," said Tackleton.
But the Carrier, though slow to understand the full drift
of his meaning, eyed him in such a serious manner, that he was
obliged to be a little more explanatory.
"I have the humour," said Tackleton: holding up the
fingers of his left hand, and tapping the forefinger, to imply,
"There I am, Tackleton to wit": "I have the humour, sir, to
marry a young wife, and a pretty wife": here he rapped his
little finger, to express the Bride; not sparingly, but sharply;
with a sense of power. "I'm able to gratify that humour, and
I do. It's my whim. But--now look there!"
He pointed to where Dot was sitting, thoughtfully before
the fire: leaning her dimpled chin upon her hand, and watching
the bright blaze. The Carrier looked at her, and then at him,
and then at her, and then at him again.
"She honours and obeys, no doubt, you know," said Tackleton;
"and that, as I am not a man of sentiment, is quite enough
for me. But do you think there's anything more in it?"
"I think," observed the Carrier, "that I should chuck any
man out of window who said there wasn't."
"Exactly so," returned the other with an unusual alacrity
of assent. "To be sure! Doubtless you would. Of course.
I'm certain of it. Good night. Pleasant dreams!"
The Carrier was puzzled, and made uncomfortable and uncertain,
in spite of himself. He couldn't help showing it in his
manner.
"Good night, my dear friend!" said Tackleton compassionately.
"I'm off. We're exactly alike in reality, I see.
You won't give us to-morrow evening? Well! Next day you
go out visiting, I know. I'll meet you there, and bring my
wife that is to be. It'll do her good. You're agreeable?
Thankee. What's that?"
It was a loud cry from the Carrier's wife: a loud, sharp,
sudden cry, that made the room ring like a glass vessel. She
had risen from her seat, and stood like one transfixed by terror
and surprise. The Stranger had advanced towards the fire to
warm himself, and stood within a short stride of her chair.
But quite still.
"Dot!" cried the Carrier. "Mary! Darling! What's the
matter?"
They were all about her in a moment. Caleb, who had been
dozing on the cake-box, in the first imperfect recovery of his
suspended presence of mind, seized Miss Slowboy by the hair
of her head, but immediately apologised.
"Mary!" exclaimed the Carrier, supporting her in his arms.
"Are you ill? What is it? Tell me dear!"
She only answered by beating her hands together, and falling
into a wild fit of laughter. Then, sinking from his grasp
upon the ground, she covered her face with her apron, and wept
bitterly. And then, she laughed again, and then she cried
again, and then she said how cold she was, and suffered him to
lead her to the fire, where she sat down as before. The old man
standing, as before, quite still.
"I'm better, John," she said. "I'm quite well now--I----"
"John!" But John was on the other side of her. Why
turn her face towards the strange old gentleman, as if addressing
him. Was her brain wandering?
"Only a fancy, John dear--a kind of shock--a something
coming suddenly before my eyes--I don't know what it was.
It's quite gone, quite gone."
"I'm glad it's gone," muttered Tackleton, turning the expressive
eye all round the room. "I wonder where it's gone,
and what it was. Humph! Caleb, come here! Who's that
with the grey hair?"
"I don't know, sir," returned Caleb in a whisper. "Never
see him before in all my life. A beautiful figure for a nut-cracker;
quite a new model. With a screw-jaw opening down
into his waistcoat, he'd be lovely."
"Not ugly enough," said Tackleton.
"Or for a fire-box either," observed Caleb in deep contemplation,
"what a model! Unscrew his head to put the matches
in; turn him heels up'ards for the light; and what a fire-box for
a gentleman's mantel-shelf, just as he stands!"
"Not half ugly enough," said Tackleton. "Nothing in
him at all. Come! Bring that box! All right now, I hope?"
"Oh, quite gone! Quite gone!" said the little woman,
waving him hurriedly away. "Good night!"
"Good night!" said Tackleton. "Good night, John Peerybingle!
Take care how you carry that box, Caleb. Let it fall,
and I'll murder you! Dark as pitch, and weather worse than
ever, eh? Good night!"
So, with another sharp look round the room, he went out at
the door; followed by Caleb with the wedding-cake on his head.
The Carrier had been so much astounded by his little wife,
and so busily engaged in soothing and tending her, that he had
scarcely been conscious of the Stranger's presence until now,
when he again stood there, their only guest.
"He don't belong to them, you see," said John. "I must
give him a hint to go."
"I beg your pardon, friend," said the old gentleman, advancing
to him; "the more so as I fear your wife has not been
well; but the Attendant whom my infirmity," he touched his
ears, and shook his head, "renders almost indispensable, not
having arrived, I fear there must be some mistake. The bad
night which made the shelter of your comfortable cart (may I
never have a worse!) so acceptable, is still as bad as ever. Would
you, in your kindness, suffer me to rent a bed here?"
"Yes, yes," cried Dot. "Yes! Certainly!"
"Oh!" said the Carrier, surprised by the rapidity of this
consent. "Well! I don't object; but still I'm not quite sure
that----"
"Hush!" she interrupted. "Dear John!"
"Why, he's stone deaf," urged John.
"I know he is, but----Yes, sir, certainly. Yes, certainly!
I'll make him up a bed directly, John."
As she hurried off to do it, the flutter of her spirits, and the
agitation of her manner, were so strange, that the Carrier stood
looking after her, quite confounded.
"Did its mothers make it up a Beds, then!" cried Miss
Slowboy to the Baby; "and did its hair grow brown and curly
when its caps was lifted off, and frighten it, a precious Pets, a
sitting by the fires!"
With that unaccountable attraction of the mind to trifles,
which is often incidental to a state of doubt and confusion, the
Carrier, as he walked slowly to and fro, found himself mentally
repeating even these absurd words, many times. So many
times, that he got them by heart, and was still conning them
over and over, like a lesson, when Tilly, after administering as
much friction to the little bald head with her hand as she thought
wholesome (according to the practice of nurses), had once
more tied the Baby's cap on.
"And frighten it, a precious Pets, a sitting by the fires.
What frightened Dot, I wonder?" mused the Carrier, pacing
to and fro.
He scouted, from his heart, the insinuations of the toy merchant,
and yet they filled him with a vague, indefinite uneasiness.
For Tackleton was quick and sly; and he had that painful
sense, himself, of being a man of slow perception, that a broken
hint was always worrying to him. He certainly had no intention
in his mind of linking anything that Tackleton had said
with the unusual conduct of his wife, but the two subjects of
reflection came into his mind together, and he could not keep
them asunder.
The bed was soon made ready; and the visitor, declining
all refreshment but a cup of tea, retired. Then, Dot--quite
well again, she said, quite well again--arranged the great
chair in the chimney-corner for her husband; filled his pipe and
gave it him; and took her usual little stool beside him on the
hearth.
She always would sit on that little stool. I think she must
have had a kind of notion that it was a coaxing, wheedling
little stool.
She was, out and out, the very best filler of a pipe, I should
say, in the four quarters of the globe. To see her put that
chubby little finger in the bowl, and then blow down the pipe
to clear the tube, and, when she had done so, affect to think
that there was really something in the tube, and blow a dozen
times, and hold it to her eye like a telescope, with a most provoking
twist in her capital little face, as she looked down it,
was quite a brilliant thing. As to the tobacco, she was perfect
mistress of the subject; and her lighting of the pipe, with a wisp
of paper, when the Carrier had it in his mouth--going so very
near his nose, and yet not scorching it--was Art, high Art.
And the Cricket and the Kettle, turning up again, acknowledged
it! The bright fire, blazing up again, acknowledged it!
The little Mower on the clock, in his unheeded work, acknowledged
it! The Carrier, in his smoothing forehead and expanding
face, acknowledged it, the readiest of all.
And as he soberly and thoughtfully puffed at his old pipe,
and as the Dutch clock ticked, and as the red fire gleamed, and
as the Cricket chirped, that Genius of his Hearth and Home
(for such the Cricket was) came out, in fairy shape, into the
room, and summoned many forms of Home about him. Dots
of all ages and all sizes filled the chamber. Dots who were
merry children, running on before him, gathering flowers in the
fields; coy Dots, half shrinking from, half yielding to, the pleading
of his own rough image; newly-married Dots, alighting at
the door, and taking wondering possession of the household
keys; motherly little Dots, attended by fictitious Slowboys,
bearing babies to be christened; matronly Dots, still young and
blooming, watching Dots of daughters, as they danced at rustic
balls; fat Dots, encircled and beset by troops of rosy grandchildren;
withered Dots, who leaned on sticks, and tottered as
they crept along. Old Carriers, too, appeared with blind old
Boxers lying at their feet; and newer carts with younger drivers
("Peerybingle Brothers" on the tilt); and sick old Carriers,
tended by the gentlest hands; and graves of dead and gone old
Carriers, green in the churchyard. And as the Cricket showed
him all these things--he saw them plainly, though his eyes
were fixed upon the fire--the Carrier's heart grew light and
happy, and he thanked his Household Gods with all his might,
and cared no more for Gruff and Tackleton than you do.
But what was that young figure of a man, which the same
Fairy Cricket set so near Her stool, and which remained there,
singly and alone? Why did it linger still, so near her, with its
arm upon the chimney-piece, ever repeating "Married! and not
to me!"
Oh, Dot! Oh, failing Dot! There is no place for it in all
your husband's visions. Why has its shadow fallen on his
hearth?